I realize that I try to keep this list positive, with all things you should do, as opposed to things you should Not do, but this is a big one for me, and I couldn’t be more adamant about it.
I guess part of it is that I’m a bartender, so I hear/see it a lot. In particular, I was closing the place Monday night, and three guys were having a pretty good session up at the top of the bar. They were nice guys and we talked some basketball, and generally, though it wasn’t worth it for me to sit around waiting for them to finish, I was happy enough to do it because they were pretty cool dudes.
Anyway, an older gentleman comes in, and gets a weird drink (Belvedere and Tonic, no ice with a lime- if you don’t think that’s a weird drink you’re probably a pretty odd duck yourself. Also, this might go against #3,771- Drink YOUR Drink, but more on that later), and asks me to turn the music down. On that- hey listen, #8,642- No Bar Is Your House, don’t come in and expect more than what the bar is willing to give. Not that it’s that big a deal, but asking the bartender to turn the music down so you can make a phone call is fucking obnoxious. Anyway, he’s sitting there, and strikes up a conversation with me about God knows what, and that’s fine, I’ll talk about anything, it’s basically what I’m there for. But I’m slowly closing down at the same time, so eventually, I wander down to the far end of the bar to clean the taps, and the old guy starts talking to the three young guys. Within about fifteen seconds, he’s turned the conversation political, and though the three guys are engaging, they are obviously annoyed. Now, the old guy has some political views that I find almost fascist, and he keeps looking over at me in a, ‘Am I right or what?’ kind of way, and I give him nothing back. I hate when people talk politics in bars, because what always happens, happened. The guys finally had enough of the old fellow being a pretty racist asshole, and packed up and left. Which also left me and the old guy alone together. He proceeded to keep up with his fucking lunacy, saying that, ‘we’ve (me and him) got to do something about the people stealing our jobs,’ to which I pointed out that no one has stolen my job, as evidenced by me being behind the bar and needing to put up with him, and that the ‘only solution is to kill them all,’ and then asking if I might now where he could find some like minded people that ‘support his views.’ I told him it was probably time to call it a night and sent him on his way.
This was a long story to get to my point. There is a ton of fun and interesting crap to argue about in a barroom without bringing up politics or religion, two things which people get more upset and violent for than anything else you can probably talk about. Sports. Porn. Best burger in town. Clint Eastwood or John Wayne? Anything else. Really. You get into a political discussion with a stranger at a bar, and it’s likely that person will get angry, which will make them less likely to tip, which will definitely piss off the bartender. They’ll probably leave and in their mind, the bar you chased them out of will forever be associated with confrontational dickheads like yourself, and they’ll tell their friends that. And not come back. And we liked them better than you.
And religion is even worse! People blow themselves up for religion. Passionate and logical discussion about faith are not meant to be shared by strangers on unfamiliar territory twelve drinks in. Save them for philosophy class.
Well, I’ll strike this one up to another ‘point not well made post’ and leave you with this (usually people say it better when they say less)-
The Step- In the bar, talk about shit that doesn’t matter to the very soul of your being- nobody else wants to hear it.
Have I Done It Yet- I don’t.