In an effort to keep allowances for all kinds of guys to strive for the goal of manliness, I’m trying to avoid putting words like, ‘Don’t’ or ‘Never,’ mostly because there are always exceptions. I read one article in a ‘Men’s’ magazine that said that you can never apply chap-stick in public. I unabashedly use chap-stick, and have no problem with guys that do, and, as far as I’m concerned, if your lips are chapped, slap some fucking chap-stick on them. Not doing so is counter intuitive, and frankly, it’s pretty pathetic to be so embarrassed about wearing chap-stick that you have to sneak off to the Gents to put some on. I’d be more embarrassed about the fact that you think you need 12 oz. of hair gel to make yourself look good when we all know this bald-ass mother fucker looks better than you ever will:
At any rate, I’m trying to keep this thing positive, and accepting of all kinds, even you, you weak-ass Don Draper impersonator you. Now on to this actual post.
So I am a bartender. I actually don’t do it now, but I think that once a bartender, always a bartender. If you’ve ever spent any time studying or practicing the craft, you know you never build a drink the same way again after a few turns behind the sticks. It’s something that, if you want it to, stays with you for life.
At any rate, I am a bartender, and awhile back, a good buddy of mine named Dave asked me for a good recipe for a Dark ‘N Stormy. I gave it to him, and tried, for awhile to send out a good cocktail recipe to a few of my friends every Friday. It lasted about 3 Fridays, but it was a nice idea. Long story long, from time to time, Dave still texts me looking for drink recipes. Being Christmas,
he texted me the other night looking for a good holiday Nog recipe…and here’s actually where this blog post begins-
I don’t have a holiday Nog recipe, and I never will, provided The Waterfront Ale House stays open. They make, honestly, the best god damn Egg Nog on the planet. It is phenomenal, and, if anyone ever looks at you dubiously, just show them the quarter inch of sedimentary deliciousness accumulated at the bottom of every bottle. Shake before serving.
I bought 7 bottles of it last night, two of which were consumed out of dixie cups on the train by my compadres in troublemaking, two kids from my neighborhood, myself and a few random strangers, and the rest of which will hopefully survive until Christmas Day.
Accept help. I make an average at best Nog, and I can accept that. So, I can accept The Waterfront’s is better, and I drink that. I don’t know shit about computers, so when I have a computer issue, I know a couple knuckleheads who put up with my inane questions.
It doesn’t make sense to drive around for an hour when you can just ask for directions. It’s wasteful, of your time, of gas, of your brain space (let’s face it, you could be thinking of this), and therefore, I don’t find it very manly to not ask for directions. So Fuck that stereotype.
Again, and as usual, taking the long way round to get to an ultimately simple point- If you need help, ask for it, if there is a better way of doing something- DO IT THAT WAY. If someone is better at something than you, there is no reason you should do anything worse if there is a way to have it done better.
When I do Habitat for Humanity, I chaperone a bunch of high school kids down in Tennessee, and an endless source of humor is to watch the Habitat workers- a bunch of bad ass rednecks who are insanely, deceptively smart, and good at what they do- observe the kids. They watch quietly as a kid tries to complete a task they’ve been assigned. The kid will invariably take a shot at whatever it is, don’t ask for help, and usually fuck it up. The guys just smile, then go and fix it. I mean, come on kid, you’re in fucking high school, this guy does this for a living, and has done so for about 15 years. He probably knows the easiest way to do it, and how to make it look go, no? Fucking ask him how. He is standing right there, and will be glad to not have to do it twice.
Ask for help when it’s needed, accept help when it’s available. Realize that though you try your damnedest, you can’t do everything yourself. That is a fucking manly view of the world.
The Step- Acknowledge there are people that know how to do things better than you do, and let them do those things if and when possible.
Have I Done It Yet- Yet again, this is a way to live your life, not a solitary experience to have had, but you’re damn right I ask for help.
This Author’s Total Man Points- 5.5