Notice wedding ring. Converse just makes a classy shoebox.
Transformers place settings are nice, but what a bride and groom most likely actually want is to avoid that crippling debt closely associated with weddings. Go up to the best man, say, ‘Hey, I’d like to make sure I cover my plate (and my plus one if the situation requires), what should I make this check out for?’ Or something along those lines, then fill a shoebox with cash or write a check and make that your fucling gift, crystal vases be damned. What the bride and groom really want is that sweet, sweet cheddar. Give it to them, they’ve had a long day.
Protip: Make the wrapping paper shitty or the caterers will be flush with cash, not your intended recipient.
The Step- Pay the bride and groom what it cost them to invite you. No mooching.
Have I Done It Yet- I still have the Chucks.
This Author’s Total Man Points- 2.5
The 10,000 Steps to Becoming a Man. 